RULES FOR THE CARD GAME
The card game Arse Hole was invented in the mid to late 1980's by four students at Griffith University, Brisbane, Australia. After a night getting drunk at the Universities Casbar, they decided to invent a card game. Arse Hole, a fun, funny, and brilliant game, was the result. Although it's amazing four drunk people could invent such a good card game, it's even more amazing they could remember it the next day! Although remaining primarily the domain of students living in the Universities residences, Arse Hole is finding its way out of Griffith. Apart from a couple of minor additions to handle dealing in large games and starting up (my suggestions), it hasn't changed since its invention, it really is that good!!!
AIM OF THE GAME
The aim of Arse Hole is to get rid of your cards as quickly as possible and take the highest rank you can for the next hand. It is also the aim if the higher ranked players to keep the Arse Holes in Arse Holedom.
NUMBER OF PLAYERS REQUIRED
Generally speaking, the more players, the better the game is. Although it is possible to play with 2 people, that's a very boring game. It is suggested that there should be at least 6 players per game for a reasonable game. Having 15 to 20 players makes for an excellent game.
The highest ranking player (King or God) takes the highest and most comfortable seat, Arse Hole gets the bare floor. Seating positions generally progressively decrease in comfort as you progress down the ranks. In larger games, it is possible for more than one player to have an equally comfortable (or uncomfortable) place. The highest ranking player may also have a side table to set things such as coffee on during the game. For larger games, a table in the middle may also be used if desired.
The highest ranking person is usually referred to as King, although in large games this person may be God. Ranks then progressively decrease until you reach the bottom ranking person of Arse Hole. There is no specific naming convention for the ranks, these are usually made up at the time. Here are a few suggestions:
God's right hand man (person for the politically correct)
Queen Vice President
Deputy Prime Minister
Deputy Arse Hole
NUMBER OF CARDS REQUIRED
Leave the Jokers in as they are used a part of the wild cards. There is no specific rule for determining how many cards are required for each game. In general, the more cards there are, the better the game will be. It is suggested that sufficient decks of cards be used to give each player at least 20 cards. Having less than this can mean a boring, almost pointless game. Around 35 to 40 cards per person helps make a good game. Having more than 40 cards per player is OK, but it can get difficult for the players to handle the cards.
Jokers and 2's are wild cards, share equal highest value, and have no difference between each other.
3's are lowest, followed by 4's etc., and Aces are highest.
The suit of the cards is unimportant.
DETERMINING INITIAL RANKS
This is mainly left up to the players to determine for each game. Players may take any position, someone deal, then play the first hand without any card exchange (see later). Another suggestion is to draw cards from a single deck before it is added to the remaining decks for the game. This is the only time that the suit of the cards is important. Follow the value rank for the cards and order the suits as Hearts, Diamonds, Clubs, Spades. If both Jokers are drawn at the start, the first one drawn takes highest rank. The card value determines the players starting position. The card swap rule can be observed for this first hand if the players so wish.
SHUFFLING AND DEALING
Arse Hole is responsible for shuffling, dealing, and scraping (see later) the cards. Arse Hole deals the cards one at a time to the players. Starting with him/herself, Arse hole then deals cards to each progressively higher ranked player and continues dealing in the circle until all cards are dealt.
In large games, Arse Hole may delegate part of the deck to the next highest ranking player to assist in the shuffling. This may be repeated by this player until the pile of cards to shuffle is manageable. As a guideline only, this process should not proceed for more than one quarter of the players. Some attempt should be made to mix the piles of cards in with each other when they are returned together.
The same process may be followed for dealing the cards. In this case, each player who receives cards should make sure they don't run out of cards part way around the circle. The remaining cards from these players should be returned to Arse Hole who completes the dealing. All cards are dealt out.
At the end of dealing, there is a card exchange. The number of cards to exchange is determined by rank. The middle two players exchange one card with each other, the next players each side exchange two cards with each other, and so on until King and Arse Hole exchange cards with each other. If there is an odd number of players, the very middle player keeps their cards, and the card swap starts with the players immediately either side the middle player.
When exchanging cards, the lower ranking player must pass this number of their best cards onto the higher ranking player. The higher ranking player can pass down any cards from their hand they don't want.
If the lower ranking player fails to pass on their best cards, or the cards that are specified, they automatically achieve the rank of Arse Hole for the next hand (or two if players decide so at the start of the game).
Players should determine these two points before the game starts.
1a. The players exchange cards without the higher ranking player first seeing what cards they are receiving.
1b. The higher ranking player may first receive their cards, then pass down their unwanted cards back to the lower ranking player.
2a. The higher ranking player can only receive the lower ranking players best cards, and may not specify cards to receive or not receive.
2b. The higher ranking player may say they want specific cards from the lower ranking player, or they do not want certain cards. If the lower ranking player has the wanted cards, they must be passed on.
Usually rules 1a and 2a are followed.
PLAYING THE CARDS
Hand: The cards you get when they are dealt to you. A hand is complete when all players have gotten rid of all their cards.
Round: When players are laying cards out into the middle. A round is complete when no-one can play more cards on what is in the middle.
Scrape: Removing the cards that have been played in a round (Arse Holes responsibility!!!)
Playing or laying cards: When a player places cards into the middle.
Cards are played into the middle of the group face up. One or more cards are played each time. Each time a player plays their cards, the cards they lay out must all be of the same value. In each round, players, if they choose to lay cards out, must lay down the same number or more cards that are of a higher value than the cards the previous player laid. This continues until noone plays any more cards, or wild cards are played (See note on playing wild cards).
When a player can't, or chooses not to lay cards out when it is their turn, they may not lay more cards out until the next round.
PLAYING WILD CARDS:
When wild cards are played, the player may lay one less wild card than the number of cards just laid.
ORDER OF PLAY
The only privilege Arse Hole gets is right at the start of the hand. Arse Hole starts play in the first round by playing one or more of their cards. The second lowest player then plays their cards and so on. When play reaches the highest ranking player, it continues on around to Arse Hole.
The player who is last to lay cards down is the winner of that round and may start the next round.
When a round is complete, Arse Hole must Scrape the cards from the middle and place them on the discard pile that they maintain. If the other players wish, they may remind Arse Hole to Scrape, usually with a loud SCRAPE!
DETERMINING RANK FOR THE NEXT HAND
The first person to get rid of all their cards takes the highest rank. The second person to get rid of their cards takes the second highest rank and so forth until all players have gotten rid of their cards. Players retain their rank until the hand is complete.
At the end of each hand, players change positions corresponding to their new rank. The new Arse Hole is responsible for shuffling and dealing the cards for the new hand.
PLAYERS JOINING AND LEAVING THE GAME
Players may join and leave the game between hands. When a new player comes into the game, they automatically achieve the rank of Arse Hole. If more than one player decides to join, the last player to join takes the rank of Arse Hole and each previous player takes the next highest rank. This may also mean renaming some of the ranks.
When a player chooses to leave the game, their position in the game is lost and the other players simply fill in the hole. If a player who left the game earlier rejoins the game, they do so at the rank of Arse Hole.
ARSE HOLES ARE THE SERVANTS
Rank has its privileges. The top most ranking players may order the Arse Holes (low ranking players) to carry out simple duties for them. These may include such things as making coffee, getting a snack from the cupboard or fridge, getting something from their room, or other such trivial tasks. When the Arse Holes have been ordered to do something and their turn to play cards comes, they must be told to play their cards and may not be denied the opportunity to do so.
That's the rules for Arse Hole! There might be a lot here, but the game is very simple to play and a lot of fun. Well, donít just sit there, go and organise a game ARSE HOLE!!!